Alton Towers Winter Weekend
On 22nd - 23rd February 2003
After a bottle of wine on New Year's Eve, Maxine persuaded me to go to the Alton Towers weekend. I hate heights and I have never been on a roller coaster in my life. Hmm.
I wake up at 6.00 am on Sunday morning in the Alton Towers Hotel (very nice, by the way). I am up far too early and several trips to the bathroom betray the nerves setting in. After a breakfast without the fry-up, we go down to the Park.
It's Hex first. A bit like sitting in church pews inside a giant gothic tumble drier. A bit boring really. White Knuckle rides? Pah! Easy peesy. How wrong can you be?
Oblivion next. A vertical drop into a hole in the ground. It looks horrible. It is horrible. We begin the long slow climb to the top and already I am almost weeping with fright. Iain refuses to hold my hand because it is too clammy. We are at the top and we stop and teeter over the edge, looking straight down. Oooer. Then we plummet and all I can think is that this is truly the most horrible experience of my life. Wrong again! It gets worse later on. I get off with wobbly legs and immediately get back on again. It is no better the second time.
Enterprise next. A whirly wheel thing where you sit in a little cage and it goes round and upside down. No seat belts! Oh Yuk! I hate the G. It lasts a couple of minutes. Iain tells me that I let out a piercing scream in one breath that lasted the whole ride. It stops and I sit whimpering and unmoving. Iain prises me to my feet and I can not stand, head swims, and knees buckle. I don't know if I am laughing or crying.
Submission next. A sort of boat thing that goes over and over and upside down. "No bad backs, necks, weak hearts or pregnant women" they announce. I claim to be all of these but Paul has none of it and I get on. I don't scream this time. I am beyond it and give up the will to live.
We meet Neil and he asks how I found Oblivion. "Did you see the squirrel at the bottom of the hole?" "No, I kept my eyes closed". Actually, I have no memory of the first time whatsoever. We get on Oblivion again and I am reminded to look for the squirrel. A dirty trick to get me to look down. 5 times in total and I still haven't seen the squirrel. I have to close my eyes every time.
Enough! Time for the horsey carousel. My favourite! And then the kids' dragon coaster. Lovely, but I still scream. I am disappointed that the monorail isn't working, My idea of the perfect ride.
White knuckle rides? Terrifying and I hate them. Hah, but I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Do it all again? You bet!
A big thanks to Maxine for organising an excellent weekend and also to my partners in crime (Maxine, Theresa, Iain, Paul and Neil) for being terrific company and making it such enormous great big fun.
Carol Prested